I am going to try and keep this post short and sweet. I took my test Sept 3 ,2015. My scores were released yesterday afternoon 10-6-15. Up until this point I had done a pretty good job of not worrying too much about the outcome of this test, I knew I tried my best, I knew I changed quite a few right answers to wrong choices (how did I know this, why of course I looked up the questions/answers after the test LOL, something that I do not suggest unless you want to increase your likelihood of suffering from a premature stroke/heart attack LOL) and as time passed I reconciled with the fact that if this is for me then HE will show me the way and if not then I know HE will lead me down another path, in his own time.
This is not to say that I was not nervous to see my scores because I was. After 2-3 friends shared their scores with me during the later part of yesterday, I had made up my mind that I wouldn't look at my score until January lol and I was perfectly fine with that. But as I sat at my computer scribbling and doodling on pieces of scratch paper at 11:59pm, when I was suppose to be completing secondary apps. I said enough is enough, I would not continue to allow a test to own my life, like the MCAT has. My heart was beating so hard and so fast, I would have thought it was going to jump out of my chest.
But I did it, its over and I will never ever ever ever never take this test again, no matter what happens during this application cycle because I have applied multiple times, tested multiple times, did summer programs, test prep, masters programs, post bacc, relocated, I am swamped in debt but despite it all I have tried my absolute best, sacrificed not only precious time from my life but of my family as well. And if medical school/ being a physician is not for me "I am going to stop trying to swim in the ocean during a hurricane because there's so much more to life than holding on to Dreams that may not even belong to me anymore". But right now I am happy as can be so we will see how things go!